Spring

A small poem on not wanting to engage in the expansive nature of spring, wishing to remain in hibernation rather than face the onslaught of feelings and emotions that spring ushers forth..

If you prefer to listen, check out my reading on Soundcloud here.

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More readings to follow on Soundcloud soon.. x 

A Harmless Lullaby

I can’t get out of bed she says,
I’m scared of Mannequin.

Mannequin sighs from ‘neath red wool hat
which Daddy placed on top
to hide the two neck bolts
that sometimes look like eyes.

At night-time whilst she sleeps soft
Mannequin comes to life
her fixed form glows
under moon enchanted,
bends and dips,
her one leg glides
‘cross bedroom floor,
bags sway like arms
in time to starry chorus
a constellation of notes work fire on dark skies
as Mannequin’s song sings soft -


‘Sleep soundly little one
There is no need to fear me
When this night is done dear one
Those night dreams will prove only
Flights of pure fancy little one
An imaginative journey
And when the moon is gone dear one
You’ll think nothing of me
A tall, silent mannequin
Single leg and no real arms
But I will watch over you little one
And keep you safe from harm.’

#VSS365 #VSSPoem 7thFeb2020

And To Make An End...

...For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning...
T.S. Eliot

For those of us who tend to over-think almost everything, have an inbuilt obsession with attaining an unattainable perfection, and seem hell-bent on criticising every aspect of our tortured selves on a regular basis, the end of a year can feel like an impossibly difficult time. 

The expectation that everything will and should change for the better, is difficult to avoid. The predilection for ruminating on the past year's 'failures' and less than successful projects and relationships is rife and often overwhelming. As Charlotte Carpenter so succinctly puts it in her beautiful song Another Year - "...this trip around the sun, it ain't easy..."



I watch myself going through all these fears, disappointments and anxieties year after year and only seem to add to the chaotic mix of chemical imbalances by attempting to stop feeling the feelings that cause such pain but ultimately cannot be undone by undoing.

Having, by no small miracle, begun to put into practice the probably life-long lesson of allowing feelings - whether they feel helpful or less so - to flow through unhindered throughout this past year, I imagined that this year end would be less painful than the previous. Yet despite putting mental, emotional and situational safety barriers in place, I've found the crossover from 2019 to 2020 just as exhausting and full of disappointment with myself, one or two unfortunate others and with life itself.

Putting the past behind us as Eliot suggests in the wonderful quote above (and elsewhere in his Four Quartets piece), is no easy task and takes huge amounts of courage and trust in the eternal process of change. 

The idea of calling an end to one way of being and thereby allowing a new way to come forth, however, is very appealing and resonates loudly in my soul. Thus, I have allowed myself the miserable luxury of spending the day (and much of the previous night) immersed in all the sadness that came skulking out of the new year woodwork, ruminating over unhelpful thoughts and disappointments whilst simultaneously attempting to employ the art of observing feelings without too much judgement. 

It's been a long day but I feel ready to make an end and let the beginning roll in. I hope you do too.. x


P.S. The following extract from Burnt Norton, Part 1 of Eliot's Four Quartets (perhaps not intentionally) sums up the feelings of fear and anxiety that, perhaps necessarily, hang over this time of year poignantly. I also like how it (definitely unintentionally) evokes the Twittersphere quite beautifully.

...Here is a place of disaffection
Time before and time after
In a dim light: neither daylight
Investing form with lucid stillness
Turning shadow into transient beauty
With slow rotation suggesting permanence
Nor darkness to purify the soul
Emptying the sensual with deprivation
Cleansing affection from the temporal.
Neither plenitude nor vacancy. Only a flicker
Over the strained time-ridden faces
Distracted from distraction by distraction
Filled with fancies and empty of meaning
Tumid apathy with no concentration
Men and bits of paper, whirled by the cold wind
That blows before and after time,
Wind in and out of unwholesome lungs
Time before and time after.
Eructation of unhealthy souls
Into the faded air, the torpid
Driven on the wind that sweeps the gloomy hills of London,
Hampstead and Clerkenwell, Campden and Putney,
Highgate, Primrose and Ludgate. Not here
Not here the darkness, in this twittering world...

Coming Home From Paris...

The constrictions of Twitter have so far proved a wonderful challenge for my usually verbose impulses and I appreciate the regular opportunity to restrain the avalanche of words that tends to pour out when I sit down to write, or, at least, to hone that avalanche into a snowball without losing too much potency. 

Coming Home From Paris On The Eurostar is one of three micropoems I wrote for a submission in September. The constraints here were a limit of 11 lines (excluding title) - more substantial than Twitter's 280 character perimeter but still far shorter than most of my work. 

Thanks to Twitter I've learned that poetic boundaries can be fun though I'm not sure I'll be attempting a haiku anytime soon!

Coming home from Paris on the Eurostar
She sleeps, lips softly pouted,
cheeks ablaze with solar kisses
finest raven feathered lashes pour from lids
heavy with travel and late summer nights.
Golden mocha skin, loose untroubled arms crossed
fingers rest quietly, sated as freshly weaned bairns.
Her father’s hands wide, roomy, safe home-making arms
hold tight her dreams against his beating chest.
Drowsy warm aroma floats across charcoal slate -
her and him entwined, sprawling nonchalance disguising
complex root combinations, no beginning, no end.

To Tweet Or Not To Tweet

I’ve taken some time to consider and deliberate the pros and cons of re-entering the dangerous world of ‘social media’ after a deliciously long hiatus and the blessed relief of being back on the sturdy ground of communication by email, SMS, good old-fashioned letter writing and even some, dare I say it, face-to-face (*gasp*) interaction! 

After too many years contributing to what I’ve found to be essentially an unfettered distraction from real life, a time-wasting, self-absorbed system, with serious detrimental effects on our mental health and wellbeing, I developed a grim disdain for Facebook’s blatant manipulation of our innate need for connection and the wilful distortion of our perceptions of self and others. Having also endured a painful battle to break free from the endless scrolling addiction which seems to dominate and tarnish this so-called sophisticated and civilised era in human evolution, I was not keen to enter the circus ring again. 

In the end however, after a gloriously productive year or more of concentrating on writing without social media distraction, I have decided that the benefits of the system - being able to share my slowly expanding body of work with others, gain relevant feedback and gather inspiration from available sources - is a vital part of my creative process. Whether or not I can use the system without falling prey to its hollow side remains to be seen. 

It seems as though Twitter (which I’ve not used before mainly because short posts are not my forte - long meandering paths of words and stretches of ideas with a liberal splattering of parenthesis contained asides are much more my field, as you, dear reader, may have noticed!), linked to this blog on which I etch heartfelt words and multi-layered dreamscapes, could be the best medium to enable the necessary creative functions without too much collateral damage. So, here I am. Hello! *gulp* ...