Music For Your Ears

If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:

Music plays a leading role in the life of this curious mother. Except for those moments when I need a dose of relative silence, am entertaining Pixie, or am recording my own music, these four walls reverberate almost continuously with Spotify playlists, new releases or the latest tunes I've bagged on bandcamp. For me, an excess of it is a rare occurrence.

The Mix-Tape playlists I curate on Spotify began way back in the summer of 2018 and will I'm sure continue for some time. They are akin to mood-boards on which I pin lists of tunes that I enjoy listening to, new and old, under headings that either create a certain ambience or tell a story in lyrics and music. My Corona series for example tells a tale of the pandemic in ongoing stages of development. It is a musical documentary of sorts using music to relay some of the issues, situations and feelings that arose from and continue to arise from Covid and explore how these factors affected / affect us.

Sound is such a powerful and potent element in all of our lives in one way or another. Even if you're not as addicted to music as I am, life's soundscapes, the natural world's vibrations and the feelings music creates in us can make or break our days, take us away from the mundane either straight into the eye of a chaotic storm or into a more serene, ethereal space providing respite from anxious and debilitating thoughts.

I'd like to share a bit more of the music that soundtracks my days in the studio and some of the tunes, tracks and songs I'm currently listening to and loving. You can find all myshared playlists here and below are some of the gems I purchased recently via the incredibly useful medium that is bandcamp.

WavesAs Tall As Houses by St. Clair

I love the fairground folky style of St. Clair's music and this lush little EP doesn't fail to impress with deeply primal beats pounding like waves beneath beautiful voices - a chorus of Mer-people sirening us under the water, a lone haunting vocal or heart-breaking violin drifting along the sand from an indistinguishable point on the rocks. This deliciously delicate sound floats like a dream around our ears and combines with profound yet relatable lyrics to ensure the music hits our hearts and touches our souls in an unforgettable way. One to play on repeat whilst storm watching.

Wanderers (feat. Michelle B.) by The G

LA artist and producer The G writes and performs emotive synthwave music and this title track from his recent Wanderers album on the New Retro Wave label, is full of the feelz. The music takes us back to a re-lived 1980s, lying - as nonchalantly and romantically as a young awkward teen can - in sun-drenched playing-fields, daydreams skipping hand in hand with strange thoughts and feelings that seem certain one moment, mad foolishness the next. Michelle B's breathy yet controlled vocals carry the heated lyrics perfectly. One to play on repeat this summer. Check out the album too - it’s a beautiful piece of new retrowave synth-saturated nostalgic delight as is The G’s playlist ‘Wanderers:a Vocal Synthwave Playlist’.

Lately (Charlotte + Carolina version) by Charlotte Carpenter

This beautifully tender track released in June, is a new version of Lately recorded at home by Charlotte and Carolina in celebration of Pride month. Charlotte’s soothing vocals, spare lyrics and exquisite guitar always work refreshing wonders for the harangued listener. Here, her vocals harmonise effortlessly with Carolina’s and this deceptively simple siren song drifts gently through the ears, reaching parts of the soul we were previously unaware of. A restorative tune for trying times.

All proceeds go to Mermaids charity supporting transgender and gender variant children and their families.

Inner Song Remix Series by Kelly Lee Owens

This LP contains a plethora of remixes by techno producer and musician Kelly Lee Owens, of her second album Inner Song which was released last summer on Smalltown Supersound to ecstatic reviews. I have to confess to not yet having listened to the whole original album but can tell you that these remixes stand alone as exemplar pieces, soundscapes of sparse thumping techno combined with otherworldly vocals, distant voices. It feels a bit like wandering into the back room of a club towards the end of the night, losing yourself in the dancing whilst the phone calls and thoughts of your fellow dancers and those lounged around the edges are played out loud. This I guess is the point of the original record - a glimpse into Kelly’s mind and some of its many facets and voices. At once recognizable and strange. Find a quiet spot, relax and let the sounds flow through, taking you on a journey. And it is a trip, enjoy x

And To Make An End...

...For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning...
T.S. Eliot

For those of us who tend to over-think almost everything, have an inbuilt obsession with attaining an unattainable perfection, and seem hell-bent on criticising every aspect of our tortured selves on a regular basis, the end of a year can feel like an impossibly difficult time. 

The expectation that everything will and should change for the better, is difficult to avoid. The predilection for ruminating on the past year's 'failures' and less than successful projects and relationships is rife and often overwhelming. As Charlotte Carpenter so succinctly puts it in her beautiful song Another Year - "...this trip around the sun, it ain't easy..."



I watch myself going through all these fears, disappointments and anxieties year after year and only seem to add to the chaotic mix of chemical imbalances by attempting to stop feeling the feelings that cause such pain but ultimately cannot be undone by undoing.

Having, by no small miracle, begun to put into practice the probably life-long lesson of allowing feelings - whether they feel helpful or less so - to flow through unhindered throughout this past year, I imagined that this year end would be less painful than the previous. Yet despite putting mental, emotional and situational safety barriers in place, I've found the crossover from 2019 to 2020 just as exhausting and full of disappointment with myself, one or two unfortunate others and with life itself.

Putting the past behind us as Eliot suggests in the wonderful quote above (and elsewhere in his Four Quartets piece), is no easy task and takes huge amounts of courage and trust in the eternal process of change. 

The idea of calling an end to one way of being and thereby allowing a new way to come forth, however, is very appealing and resonates loudly in my soul. Thus, I have allowed myself the miserable luxury of spending the day (and much of the previous night) immersed in all the sadness that came skulking out of the new year woodwork, ruminating over unhelpful thoughts and disappointments whilst simultaneously attempting to employ the art of observing feelings without too much judgement. 

It's been a long day but I feel ready to make an end and let the beginning roll in. I hope you do too.. x


P.S. The following extract from Burnt Norton, Part 1 of Eliot's Four Quartets (perhaps not intentionally) sums up the feelings of fear and anxiety that, perhaps necessarily, hang over this time of year poignantly. I also like how it (definitely unintentionally) evokes the Twittersphere quite beautifully.

...Here is a place of disaffection
Time before and time after
In a dim light: neither daylight
Investing form with lucid stillness
Turning shadow into transient beauty
With slow rotation suggesting permanence
Nor darkness to purify the soul
Emptying the sensual with deprivation
Cleansing affection from the temporal.
Neither plenitude nor vacancy. Only a flicker
Over the strained time-ridden faces
Distracted from distraction by distraction
Filled with fancies and empty of meaning
Tumid apathy with no concentration
Men and bits of paper, whirled by the cold wind
That blows before and after time,
Wind in and out of unwholesome lungs
Time before and time after.
Eructation of unhealthy souls
Into the faded air, the torpid
Driven on the wind that sweeps the gloomy hills of London,
Hampstead and Clerkenwell, Campden and Putney,
Highgate, Primrose and Ludgate. Not here
Not here the darkness, in this twittering world...