Anyone But Me

Joy Crookes presents Anyone But Me.. - Episode #2 With Kate Nash | Part 1 

This conversation is very pertinent, highly intelligent, super real and oh, so moving. As well as discussing the potential dangers of our technological addictions and how global lockdown has affected creativity, Joy + Kate articulate beautifully what it is to be female in 21^st century ‘Western civilisation’ and how in a male-run world it can be so incredibly difficult to be true to ourselves, to express ourselves without being derided or damaged in some way, or to even come to the realisation that the self we are forced to project is not who we really are.

Despite huge obstacles both women have courageously risen to the challenge and here they share their experiences of overcoming trauma, getting back to themselves and the things in life that really matter as well as finding ways to live in a way that feels more genuine and meaningful.

An intelligent, inspiring and highly recommended listen for young women, older women, men who have daughters, men who have mothers / aunts / nieces / female friends in their lives – yes, that’s everyone.. 

Part 2 coming soon x

Prepare to roar, weep and feel the love in Part 2 here.

A Farewell To Arms

Spinning around the liminal spaces
pushed towards an edge
she finds herself outside herself

watching
listening intently
as her lips - her own lips transferred onto this other -
open
in slow
distorted
motion -

See
you
soon

The words tumble out precariously
as the world holds collective breath ..

And it feels as though these words
might never before have been uttered 
never before in this world ..

A silver-spangled brand-new phrase -
this collection of letters and sounds
flown in by cosmic forces
at this precise moment
to be extracted for the very first time
from human lung and throat
uttered for the very first time
by human mouth
this delicate triptych, for the very first time 
is heard by human ear
laid gently, insistently, for the very first time
upon human mind and heart

The tone sounds familiar and nostalgic
recollections spin like dancing plates
hurled at break-neck speed
down the staircase, across the hall

But each word is a novel occurrence
tied together with silver string
gilded with stardust
as though they alighted here from some distant galaxy
sending soothing signals
out into the great unknown

An utterance of such simultaneous profundity
sits alongside an air of nonchalance
perfectly juxtaposed for higher definition audio

Three words

They fall upon us both
shroud my mouth
cloak your ears
in hopeful, strange delight
sprinkled with a smatter of tense anticipation

You drink in the surprising nectar
swill each syllable inside your heart
before cautiously allowing the echo
reverberating inside your chest
to spin upwards to your throat
as your mouth on autopilot
repeats
the same
three
words

See
you
soon

A slow
drawn out
poignant yet forgettable disengagement
of bodies first
then arms, wrists,
hands, until finally
just two fingers remain intact
clutching tightly

ramparts guarding resolutely against the passing of time

But time will not be stopped

Let go Let go

Just for now
until we meet again..

The Radio Edit

In the radio edit
we’ll make sure to leave a gap,
a poignant edge-of-the-moment
full-of-potential stop-go trap
between the chorus and the bridge,
the knowing and the liminal.
We’ll harmonise speculatively
on the incoming vertical
and wait
just enough
for one
breath.. taking.. gasp
to take us to the climax
hit us like a sudden gust
sweep us up over the waters
to the blue sky we can trust.


In the radio edit
we’ll repeat the chorus here
‘til it chimes with all our heartbeats,
becomes one with collective ear
and just when they’re feeling comfortable
singing along to the melody
we’ll cut the vocal, play just the tune
bear the weight of expectancy
as the audience falters unsure,
words slipping off their tongues
through the open lips of surprise -
will they stay or will they run?
Do you sing the words regardless
drawn towards the spot of light,
make your own mark on the record
stand tall, prepared to fight?
Or do you stop there on the spot
afraid to sing alone
the only voice resounding
mantra under desert sun?

Too late! The strings are soaring
drums beat loud, vocals return,
accustomed order is resumed -
our song will now play on.


In the radio edit
we’ll focus on the expected frame
of chorus following verse and chorus
following verse and same again
all the way up to the bridge
where keys change unsubtly,
usher them into a room beyond
ever so gently.
‘Take the step, it’s just one note’
Noting the rise in splendour,
letting them know ‘oh yes, it was good,
but now it’s even better.
Come up, up, up where the air is clear,
sweeter, breathe deep, let it in,
raise your hands if you want to go faster -
here comes the chorus again!’


In the radio edit
we’ll keep it short and sweet,
focus on the melody
highlight the lyrical beat.
We’ll give them what they expect to hear
with a little extra flourish,
a flouncing twist of pleasure -
you’ve been here before, you know this -
and they’ll return time after time
to listen to our song
but this cropped and censored version
can’t hold you for too long.


There will be no lengthy intro -
a gradual build of sounds
layering cozily over each other
in which the listener will lounge,
deep piles of sirens singing
harmonies we can’t deny;
there will be no vocal mosaic,
divided, reapportioned, reapplied.
Brightly coloured tiles
bearing glorious luscious notes,
expanding and contracting
in a universal flow.
There will be no vast extensions –
a stretching out of time,
basking in melodic rays,
float on a sea divine.
No waves to lift our heart and mind
into glorious ecstasy
where music is the food of love -
each note a chance to breathe.


The radio edit will be a joy
but it will never feel this free.
This original extended version
plays just for you and me.

Places of Poetry - Honing Time

Here is my first poem for the wonderful Places of Poetry project where you can read, rate and pin your own poems about places in England & Wales.

This piece - Honing Time was conceived just outside the St Peter & St Paul church at Honing, North Walsham in Norfolk.

Sat in the car, warm
artificial coziness embracing
life worn bones, lovelorn tones
cossetting weak flesh in sleepy summer aroma.

Outside, mini helicopters whirr,
dragonflies zipping back and forth amongst
fields of wheat, ferociously engaged
in a busy ballet, a network of greetings.

Transported through millennia
in the blink of an uncertain eye
by the rogue time machine
that is this Norfolk countryside.

Searching for clues of who I might be –
notice the field, its hand has revealed –
the five of spades caught up in the shape,
the fiery beacon of glimmering trees

alight in the shimmering heat of just gone noon
on this pleasantly barmy august day.
Green olive branches sway gracefully,
long swathes of ecstatic leaves reach

out in all directions, beckoning me
towards their haze fuelled dream.
An aura of whispered secrets glows
translucent, spectrums sing

a multicoloured halo of time
traversing tales, long ago stories
of what might have been, what was
and what may be on its way.

Hypnotised mind fills with memories,
dreams and long forgotten hopes.
In a trance, I am thinking the thoughts of another;
Do I see what she sees too?

How many others have sat in this spot;
how many others have stood in this place;
observed the same view transformed
by the passing years? How long have these trees

watched us, overheard our sighs and
wondrous gasps? How long have they danced
their magic entrancing her and him and I
through glowing portals to other times?

Ask the dragonflies, what have they seen?
They will laugh at our notion, ridiculous
of individual lifetimes. Prehistoric creatures
have seen more than we could ever hope to be.

To Tweet Or Not To Tweet

I’ve taken some time to consider and deliberate the pros and cons of re-entering the dangerous world of ‘social media’ after a deliciously long hiatus and the blessed relief of being back on the sturdy ground of communication by email, SMS, good old-fashioned letter writing and even some, dare I say it, face-to-face (*gasp*) interaction! 

After too many years contributing to what I’ve found to be essentially an unfettered distraction from real life, a time-wasting, self-absorbed system, with serious detrimental effects on our mental health and wellbeing, I developed a grim disdain for Facebook’s blatant manipulation of our innate need for connection and the wilful distortion of our perceptions of self and others. Having also endured a painful battle to break free from the endless scrolling addiction which seems to dominate and tarnish this so-called sophisticated and civilised era in human evolution, I was not keen to enter the circus ring again. 

In the end however, after a gloriously productive year or more of concentrating on writing without social media distraction, I have decided that the benefits of the system - being able to share my slowly expanding body of work with others, gain relevant feedback and gather inspiration from available sources - is a vital part of my creative process. Whether or not I can use the system without falling prey to its hollow side remains to be seen. 

It seems as though Twitter (which I’ve not used before mainly because short posts are not my forte - long meandering paths of words and stretches of ideas with a liberal splattering of parenthesis contained asides are much more my field, as you, dear reader, may have noticed!), linked to this blog on which I etch heartfelt words and multi-layered dreamscapes, could be the best medium to enable the necessary creative functions without too much collateral damage. So, here I am. Hello! *gulp* ...