Podcast Review | Karen Arthur - Menopause Whilst Black

I recently discovered and am simply adoring this wonderful series by the effervescent Karen Arthur called Menopause Whilst Black. Currently in its seventh season these podcasts bring a whole new level to learning and experiencing menopause. Karen's guests have a lot in common yet also bring individual unique perspectives to this deeply transitional phase of a woman's life . 

This episode is from 4 months ago where Karen reviews the previous season 6 with inspirational and delightful musings & takeaways. A must listen for anyone currently going through pre/menopause, anyone approaching the pre-menopause years, anyone whose partner/colleague/sister/mother/friend is going through menopause and anyone who wants to offer support to the menopausal women in their life. Enjoy xx

Review: Mary And The Rabbit Dream, Noémi Kiss-Deáki

With Mary And The Rabbit Dream, Noémi Kiss-Deáki gifts us a disturbing yet exquisite portrayal of 18th century misogyny and the plight of women (and poor men) locked within the cultural confines of severe male aggressiveness, obsessive hierarchies and the dismissive rejection of females as equal beings.

In Noémi's tale, Mary, an ordinary poor working class woman finds herself at the centre of a controversy regarding whether or not she (ergo women in general) is able to birth creatures other than humans, in this particular case, rabbits. As news of this improbable situation spreads, Mary is physically, emotionally and mentally abused both by those wanting, for a variety of reasons, to prove that she has indeed birthed rabbits and by those determined but not completely convinced that humans birthing rabbits is an impossibility. The appalling behaviour of 'learned' men towards Mary and women in general, is deplorably shocking and the rage of injustice draws this reader to contemplate how far, or not, we have come 300 years later.

I'm not entirely sure that enough has changed since those times. Although in 2024 many women have a good degree of comparative autonomy over their lives, there is still too much of our health, bodies and personal authority that is both given and taken away especially in our so-called modern medicine arena. Take the over medicalization of labour and childbirth for example - the way it has oh so unsubtly become 'the norm' for a woman to lie on her back in a hospital during both phases of birth, be regularly interfered with by a rolling progression of practitioners, undergo frequent (often unnecessary) interventions, be 'assisted' in giving birth by pathology-obsessed doctors rather than natural-birth-focused midwives, be injected with numbing anaesthesia, obliged to remain still and hooked up to monitors rather than being able to move around freely as her body and her baby most often need to do in order to birth gently and well.

Published by the wonderful Galley Beggar Press, Mary And The Rabbit Dream is written in a series of short sentences that remind me of a long thread of modern text messages yet the frequent repetition of phrases and characters' thoughts seem to slow us down so we can more readily absorb the action and intention taking place. It is kind of the opposite of doom scrolling and I enjoyed this seemingly deliberate and effective way of writing which was easy to get through. A fascinating, enjoyable read. 

Goodreads Review

Review: NW by Zadie Smith

 Latest review on Goodreads:

NW by Zadie Smith
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Loved this book so much because it took me right back to glorious and gloomy London days; encouraged me, in loud whispers, to re-start reading at night instead of watching tv and because it is written so beautifully, authentically with a deep urban wisdom.
The stories and lives of the main characters feel like eavesdropping on neighbours, hearing their deepest secrets and failed pretences. It is an entrancing book that I found hard to put down.

View all my reviews

Review: An Artist Of The Floating World - Kazuo Ishiguro

Although I'd previously very much enjoyed the film adaptations of Kazuo Ishiguro's work - The Remains Of The Day & Never Let Me Go - this was my first reading of one of his books.

I absorbed the slim yet satisfying volume over the course of a week and was almost immediately entranced by this quietly potent view of family life in Japan after WWII. Through the narrator Ono's considerations of his past reputation as a reasonably well known artist and how he fits into the new Japan, we are drawn into a world where past convictions, guilt & shame mix uncomfortably with newer more globalised sensibilities & ways of being.

I found the implicit misogynism in conversations between Ono and his grandson - in regard to Ono's daughters and their perceived inherent weaknesses - somewhat uncomfortable to read, yet it also felt authentic to have Ono express such views which reflect the culture & era in which he was raised and the competing attitudes between the older and younger generations.

The measured deference combined with careful defiance in the voices of Ono's daughters - Setsuko & Noriko - is well written and fascinating to read. The young women's strengths are palpable in Ishiguro's descriptions of their differing mannerisms and approaches in dealing with their father's often seemingly wilful & stubborn refusal to understand their perceptions. The pull & tug of changing times is drawn well.

I admire the subtle brush strokes of Ishiguro's writing, the way with just a few seemingly simple lines of observation & conversation, we are giving insight into a whole world of possible meaning & definition. Reading his work is akin to spending a series of sweet stolen half hours in your favourite gallery staring at the same beautifully mysterious piece of art, each visit opening up new layers of previously hidden-in-plain-sight depth, pattern & meaning.

Reviewed here on Goodreads.com

Review: Overstory - Mix-Tape 43

Every word a peaceful meditation / every silence between rings wound / count leaves in quiet contemplation / count endless rings running loud / listen.. leaves are calling / listen.. silence is falling.. x

A mini homage to Richard Powers' glorious 2019 novel Overstory, published by Vintage Publishing. 

Available to buy from Bookshop.org here. (My Goodreads review).

In angelic feathers folded

under numinous dark skies

it’s revealed the blood of Eden

pours from shining eyes

There are ten degrees of strange

between solemn Earth and sky

between wary Raven’s feathers

and his midnight basking eye

 

He flies a path so awkward

tearing at the night

chasing an invisible sun

beneath a scarlet blood moonlight

 

In ancient creases of time

in the unhurried sap of trees

runs a heartwood strong enough to mitigate

the chaos deforestation leaves

 

Here tomorrow’s wisdom whispers

where ‘er the light will stray

and trees bear witness to our final days

watch us sleepwalk hope away

 

Miraflores falters, flailing

fearful of the day

bowed by prophetic visions

and the bells in Santa Fe

 

‘Love me to death’ she cries aloud

‘Help, help, for I am doomed!’

‘This winter of destruction’

‘has undone me far too soon!’

 

I’ll wait here in the undertow

sure, it’s merely a matter of time

before our spirits fall in nature’s tune

refuse to tow the faulty line

 

Hark, I hear a sound incoming

a voice from the wilderness

that cries ‘Ayo, my Babylon!’

‘I’ve come to ease your long duress,’

 

For many moons she’s sung her songs

patient, blessed Ocean Tree

hear her calling us to wake up!

turn and face the great reveal

 

The storm will not outlast her

for as sure as the wind will blow

she’ll regenerate the heartwood lands

rising from the Earth below

 

She’s been here longer than all the life you lived

before it started to descend

and she’ll be here till the firmament

is forced to make amends

 

This life like dream is ending

oh, creature of mine own

the tree rings are lined with glitter

bodies turning into stone

 

In angel feathers folded

under numinous wide sky

it is here the blood of Eden

will relinquish her disguise

MixTape 41 - Last Winter - 2021/2022

Winter Solstice swallowed us in it's all reaching circle, arms held wide, it felt so easy. Does it matter, should it matter how we were in love, spinning under the October sky.. x

Held in winter’s expectant grasp, she led

her quiet dance across snow fields, cold

Winter Solstice swallowed in whole flame

wild fire like a circle, arms held wide, easy

Does it matter, should it matter, how we were

in love, spinning under an October sky

 

Coupled like lambs at Newgrange we leaped

through mirrored frames following sun rays

right down the line toward a blind horizon

beyond any barrier they tried to hold us in

we remained oblivious to their foolish lies

though someone else might realise it wasn't time

 

Head bent close, breath held tight, you said

I wish you peace in your heart and that was all

I needed to feel at home in the corner of my sky

Where thoughts reside in simultaneous parallel

and all seasons bloom together as one great turn

Oak and Ash holding together one year into another

2021 left us before 2022 had begun its own song

The ship song it was they sang as we waved

a fond farewell to all that had come before, bricks

and mortar holding together fast as atom two

clutches atom three and one in its tender embrace

and they sang Hari Ram over and over which

 

made you frown but it don’t bother me, I fell

into ocean view and lost myself. Is it just me

running on this Night train at Sundown waiting

for Sunset to wrap me in her arms until I can

dance with somebody other than Charlie and

his soft dinosaur - most treasured telepath and seer

Mix-Tape 40 - I Knew You

It's been almost 4 years since I first started dabbling in the art of playlisting on Spotify. Inspired by the beautiful, quirky and random mixtapes folk around my age used to make when we were kids and young adults. At first we created them to record songs we liked off the radio and not have to rely on radio DJs or our own meagre record and tape collections to listen to our favourite tracks. 

Later, as we became more practised and relatively affluent, our mixtape skills focused on compiling songs that worked well together and then sharing our mixes with friends. To make a mixtape for someone was one of the most romantic or caring gestures we could make. That hand-sized plastic package of carefully chosen music with a handwritten track list and sometimes a handmade insert or cover crafted from magazine cut out collage, could seal new friendships, heal broken ones and keep us company through the many tough times of adolescence and early adulthood. 

The idea of being able to stream and buy digital copies of our favourite songs and tracks was something we could not even dream of yet. To have such a vast quantity of music available 24/7 would have been unbelievable to our younger selves. Yet here we are - unlimited streaming, vast catalogues and endless playback. 

Playlisting itself has developed into an art form of its own and despite lacking the tactility, smell or physical presence of analogue cassette tapes, digital playlists can carry a similar potency. The initial magic ingredients of taking time and thought to carefully curate a list, perfect for a certain time, a certain moment, a certain someone, remains. 

My first attempt was a little roughshod mix for a friend going through some momentous life changes. It runs over 5 hours long and includes such disparities as Pete Tong, Robert Plant, Alex The Astronaut, Billie Holiday, St. Vincent, Fleetwood Mac, Geri Halliwell, Elbow and many many more but each track is carefully selected and ordered (although back then, I naively imagined that the ultimate track order would be whatever I chose by clicking on ‘date added’, ‘album’ or ‘song title’ (ascending or descending) rather than the original order of tracks as they were added) to give an overall effect of playful curiosity and burgeoning confidence wrapped up in a soothing hug. I hope that comes across!! 

As you can see by the notes I added to the playlist description (or imaginary cassette insert if you like) there is magic in the giving of as well as the reception of a well thought out mixtape: 

This ‘mix-tape’ was put together as a musical hug for a friend. I've listened to it almost daily these past few months which have been a super challenging time for me. It has been a life buoy, comfort blanket, spirit lifter, solace, distraction + inspiration. I hope you feel moved by the music too x 

My first Spotify Mix-Tapes were considerably longer than they are now, reflecting my excitement at the seemingly endless possibilities of curating a soundtrack gift to share. They contained anywhere between 37 and 78 tracks - up to 5 ½ hours of play! Now they are limited to 27 items but are still derived from an addiction to the curating of music to share. 

In the beginning stages of writing practice back then, it seemed natural to bring that craft to the playlist too. Feeling the need for a challenge to shake up my early writing style, I gave myself the challenge of writing a piece of poetry or prose using all the track titles listed to construct a conversation, a letter, memory fragments or some other form of communication - a message in a bottle if you like. Thus the Mix-Tape Poems were born. 

Mix-Tape 1 - I Believe In Music - Jun2018 

November 2021 I began creating my fortieth Mix-Tape called I Knew You, titled after the first soul baring track by Future Islands. I'm not sure why this mix needed a full hibernation period before sprouting its wings out into the world, but this slowly emerging spring feels like the right time to unearth its gems and let it grow. Personally, I am falling in love with it, and the magic of the mixtape process, all over again. I hope you do too.. x

Mix-Tape 40 - I Knew You - Winter2021/22

Description Poem:

Always running down / this dead end street is hard / There's music in the darkness / grooves pounded into heart / sways with our emotions / Hush. Yonder door is open / bright lights beam our way / disco balls glitter, say / we've arrived.. x

Fragments:

Our last sundown fell aeons ago, way beyond our horizons yet

Was it so long-ago that you knew me babe and I knew you?

 

We were love’s refuges rolling a dark train of disappointment

Pushed underground through a tunnel snaking dark and long

 

Myriad memories meander over this aging mindscape-

That last year as surprising as the seasons confused

 

Like time runaway we were far from our true selves..

Unnaturally warm spring and it was cold in summer

 

A lonely girl in the rain and my love, I kissed someone (it wasn’t you)

Though I was thinking of you I swear, your face was all I saw..

 

They say, you’re on your way and I wonder after all this time

Will you remember me? Will you recognise these darkened eyes..

 

You came back then and I can’t believe we had another chance

Yet there on Redondo beach we claimed our own secret Paradise

 

The clouds lifted and we danced, you in your faded blue jeans

My white dress torn like my heart, a tattered shell, unshored

 

But you held my hand, said ‘I know places’ and you know how it is

When you love too much, I swear my heart was a firework - constant

 

Explosions - all senses flowing like a river to the open sea

We were in heaven, and I swear, it was just like old times..

 

At Groovata the sun swelled over the midnight ocean

In your arms I felt serene, full of grace by your side

 

I only feel cool when I’m with you and something wonderful-

Something unparalleled fell into our laps, babe, magic, I swear.

 

Our eyes fixed, you breathed ‘My Millennium Angel’, and I belonged

From that moment on, I swear I was yours. Even now, all it takes-

 

A touch of southern breeze can bring me back to you, those nights..

You remember how the edges bled and we lived in soft filter babe

 

Polaroid kisses, even the whale song called out to our wildness

The sound fills me with heartbreak now, time and time again

 

Sunset’s arms still stretch wide though there’s only me now

But you’re coming back, and I swear babe, if this ain’t love

 

I don’t know what is. This summer will be my last here so

Whatever the weather, find me babe, come give me love.. xx

Exposing One's Truths - UKGov Consultation on Ending Vaccine Mandates

I'm not one to keep quiet about my political or indeed apolitical leanings in 'real-life' but for some undefined reason I don't regularly post politically minded pieces on here (or at least not for a while). Perhaps it's in part because politics was the fiery spark and continued flame throughout my previous blog - ecomonkey.blogspot.com - which I wrote for around 10 years and got a little burnt out by towards the end. This journal was a deliberate move away from that kind of discussion - from politics to poetry!

In these 'pandemic' days of fear and confusion however, it seems that almost every conversation, every nervous or determined silence, every thought, idea, deliberate or unconscious action or non-action, every poem even is political in one way or another. 

To reveal one's political thoughts, aspirations or allegiances puts one in a very vulnerable position. Yet to keep them hidden seems to me even more detrimental to one's health, mental state and indeed the nature of the culture in which one finds oneself. And if one's purpose is to better the culture and society one lives in, then exposing one's own truths seems like the only viable option..

So, today I completed the UKGOV Health & Social Care Sector consultation around ending mandates - Revoking vaccination as a condition of deployment across all health & social care. I stated why I am opposed to Vaccine Mandates and why I think there should be no discrimination based on choice. You can have your say too by filling in the short form here:

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/revoking-vaccination-as-a-condition-of-deployment-across-all-health-and-social-care

The consultation ends on 16th February 2022 so please do voice your opinion as soon as you can.

The last two questions of the consultation are the meat of the piece and I took some time to lay down my thoughts before sending. I've copied my answers below in case it might help you to express your own opinion. Some of the details and figures come from the Together Declaration who informed me of the consultation. The rest are my thoughts and opinions based on months, sometimes years of research.

Of course you may disagree with my reasoning, perhaps agree just a little.. whatever you feel about this issue, I think it is important for us to take opportunities like this to voice our thoughts, if for no other reason than to cathartically release pent up anger, fear, confusion or apathy that can stagnate if kept quiet inside..

Q. Which particular groups might be positively affected and why?

Every group will be positively affected by the permanent eradication of mandatory vaccination procedures - whether upfront or covert - for the following reasons:

• Mandatory vaccination procedures will result in the loss of 120,000 members of staff, in addition to the 60,000 workers in care-homes and other ancillary posts.
• The NHS is already in need of 95,000 staff so such sickening losses will be devastating to the nation’s health.
• Added to the current 2 year multi-million NHS waiting list, mandatory vaccination procedures will be a monumental disaster, ensuring myriad damage and fatalities across the population including those who are vulnerable and protected.
• It is well known that Omicron is mild, VACCINES DO NOT STOP TRANSMISSION, and that natural immunity from having had Covid is higher (see the Israeli and other studies). Thus it is clear vaccination is to protect the person having it. Not anyone else. 

Perhaps it wasn't the 'proper' place to do so but having no section offered for additional comments, I also added a caveat of sorts about the lies and disturbing choice of phrases used in the consultation wording itself, and this I added to the above question.

Please desist the deceitful blurring of facts and fabrication of the truth about Covid:

• Omicron presents no more of a threat to public health than the winter flu. It does not require mass vaccination.
• Those who do seem to catch and suffer from all variants particularly Omicron, are those who are vaccinated not those who have chosen to abstain or wait until vaccine testing is complete to decide.
• It is clear that the government intentionally ignores the latest clinical and scientific advice and uses only that which fits with its agenda purposely fabricating ‘science’, ‘the numbers’ and deliberately confusing the public.
• If it was the government’s aim to achieve public health and safety as it claims, restrictions would have taken place far sooner than they did and would have only been necessary for a short period of time without generating undue stress, fear and mental health issues on the public as well as denying care to those with genuine needs.
• Constant repetition of the lie “vaccination is our very best line of defence against COVID-19” will not make it true.
• NHS and care-home staff have a professional duty to protect their patients/clients by being there to provide the best health care possible in accordance with their training and the patients/clients wishes, not to adhere to government whims and fancies.

Q. What actions can the government and health and social care sector take to protect the groups identified if vax not a condition of deployment?

To protect all the groups identified the government and health and social care sector must take the following action:

• Government can ensure that the NHS is well funded and staff well paid (not just adequately) so that vacancies are filled and staff are able to fulfil their roles - to care for patients and clients - efficiently and in the necessary compassionate, unhurried manner.
• Government can admit to fabrication of truths about Covid and the false, confusing tactics used to confuse the public and generate fear. It can put measures in place to ensure that such abuses of power do not take place in the future.
• Government can listen to the science (not their own convenient and convoluted ‘science’) and act in accordance - issuing advice rather than mandates about how to manage and live with Covid and other viruses that may be forthcoming.
• Government can put an end to stealth privatisation of the NHS, embedding private interests, fragmenting our national institution, entrenching political posts & private providers and instead provide the funds and support needed for the NHS to survive and then thrive in its public capacity. E.g. eliminate systemic bias when awarding contracts, end the use of public money to build unnecessary private hospitals, rescind the abhorrent processes of private US companies buying our GP services which will inevitably result in loss of care for all and so on..
• Health and Social Care sectors can continue to provide the best services possible focusing on lifestyle and health as well as pathology.

Well, that's my piece said, for now. Maybe I'll find some peaceful poetry to post next, ha! Much love.. x

Azure Ray's Hallelujah

Azure Ray are back with an enchanting cover of the Leonard Cohen classic, Hallelujah. Orenda Fink & Maria Taylor give this eminent song a unique cover with a vocal that drips like chilled grainy honey against a background of wild wintry wind.

The harmonies are choreographed exquisitely, plucked strings swim perfectly alongside a gently lilting piano but it is the stunning vocal with its super rich tones that makes this piece special. When it would be too easy to let blast at predictable moments the pair adeptly hold back and use harmony to add emphasis rather than simply ramping up the volume to the already punchy resonance.

A beautiful, well constructed, deftly delivered fresh version of this song for the festive season.

Find Hallelujah and Azure Ray's back catalogue here on Bandcamp.

Review: Two Birds Tweeting

The Owl and the Nightingale by Simon Armitage
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this poem - Poet Laureate Simon Armitage's translation of one of the earliest recorded stories told in Middle English. The exquisitely rhyming verse (which I imagine must have been painful to update for modern readers whilst keeping the rhyme and staying faithful to the original text) follows an overheard conversation between the title characters.

As the birds argue about whose life and manner of living is more worthwhile and virtuous, the back and forth get very real, as heated as a Twitter debate and decidedly misogynistic in parts which for me sat a tad awkwardly with the fact that the birds are purportedly female.

Amongst other crimes, Owl blames Nightingale of encouraging licentious behaviour and extra-marital affairs with her saccharine song and all-consuming monologues. Nightingale in turn accuses Owl's screeching woeful dirges of striking fear into those unfortunate enough to hear. Peculiarly (or perhaps not giving the verses' human author) it seems important to them both to please and be of good service to God, the law, reigning King and humanity in general.

I read it over a few evenings, skipping over the more 'saucy' sections when my daughter was still awake! It benefits, like most poetry, from being read out loud, with specific voices for each bird if you please.

The illustrations by Clive Hicks-Jenkins are colourful and stunning and add to the Middle Ages atmosphere. Overall the verse is very laugh out loud funny, sometimes shocking, outrageously chauvinistic and objectifying of women and their role in society (which no doubt mirrors the sad times in which it was written) and ends with great humour which our original author and current translator must have revelled in writing.

View all my reviews

Music For Your Ears

If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:

Music plays a leading role in the life of this curious mother. Except for those moments when I need a dose of relative silence, am entertaining Pixie, or am recording my own music, these four walls reverberate almost continuously with Spotify playlists, new releases or the latest tunes I've bagged on bandcamp. For me, an excess of it is a rare occurrence.

The Mix-Tape playlists I curate on Spotify began way back in the summer of 2018 and will I'm sure continue for some time. They are akin to mood-boards on which I pin lists of tunes that I enjoy listening to, new and old, under headings that either create a certain ambience or tell a story in lyrics and music. My Corona series for example tells a tale of the pandemic in ongoing stages of development. It is a musical documentary of sorts using music to relay some of the issues, situations and feelings that arose from and continue to arise from Covid and explore how these factors affected / affect us.

Sound is such a powerful and potent element in all of our lives in one way or another. Even if you're not as addicted to music as I am, life's soundscapes, the natural world's vibrations and the feelings music creates in us can make or break our days, take us away from the mundane either straight into the eye of a chaotic storm or into a more serene, ethereal space providing respite from anxious and debilitating thoughts.

I'd like to share a bit more of the music that soundtracks my days in the studio and some of the tunes, tracks and songs I'm currently listening to and loving. You can find all myshared playlists here and below are some of the gems I purchased recently via the incredibly useful medium that is bandcamp.

WavesAs Tall As Houses by St. Clair

I love the fairground folky style of St. Clair's music and this lush little EP doesn't fail to impress with deeply primal beats pounding like waves beneath beautiful voices - a chorus of Mer-people sirening us under the water, a lone haunting vocal or heart-breaking violin drifting along the sand from an indistinguishable point on the rocks. This deliciously delicate sound floats like a dream around our ears and combines with profound yet relatable lyrics to ensure the music hits our hearts and touches our souls in an unforgettable way. One to play on repeat whilst storm watching.

Wanderers (feat. Michelle B.) by The G

LA artist and producer The G writes and performs emotive synthwave music and this title track from his recent Wanderers album on the New Retro Wave label, is full of the feelz. The music takes us back to a re-lived 1980s, lying - as nonchalantly and romantically as a young awkward teen can - in sun-drenched playing-fields, daydreams skipping hand in hand with strange thoughts and feelings that seem certain one moment, mad foolishness the next. Michelle B's breathy yet controlled vocals carry the heated lyrics perfectly. One to play on repeat this summer. Check out the album too - it’s a beautiful piece of new retrowave synth-saturated nostalgic delight as is The G’s playlist ‘Wanderers:a Vocal Synthwave Playlist’.

Lately (Charlotte + Carolina version) by Charlotte Carpenter

This beautifully tender track released in June, is a new version of Lately recorded at home by Charlotte and Carolina in celebration of Pride month. Charlotte’s soothing vocals, spare lyrics and exquisite guitar always work refreshing wonders for the harangued listener. Here, her vocals harmonise effortlessly with Carolina’s and this deceptively simple siren song drifts gently through the ears, reaching parts of the soul we were previously unaware of. A restorative tune for trying times.

All proceeds go to Mermaids charity supporting transgender and gender variant children and their families.

Inner Song Remix Series by Kelly Lee Owens

This LP contains a plethora of remixes by techno producer and musician Kelly Lee Owens, of her second album Inner Song which was released last summer on Smalltown Supersound to ecstatic reviews. I have to confess to not yet having listened to the whole original album but can tell you that these remixes stand alone as exemplar pieces, soundscapes of sparse thumping techno combined with otherworldly vocals, distant voices. It feels a bit like wandering into the back room of a club towards the end of the night, losing yourself in the dancing whilst the phone calls and thoughts of your fellow dancers and those lounged around the edges are played out loud. This I guess is the point of the original record - a glimpse into Kelly’s mind and some of its many facets and voices. At once recognizable and strange. Find a quiet spot, relax and let the sounds flow through, taking you on a journey. And it is a trip, enjoy x